DOMS-Dumb Onset of Muscles deciding they SUCK

In an attempt to get Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger, Ive become weaker. Dumb. I am so sore from the re-establishment of a finite resistance training program that the only result thus far has been me walking around like a baby pony after a long day at the fair, muttering things like, "ulgh, Im so sore", "You have no idea how sore I am", and/or "dude, seriously. No, I cant even...open this, Im so weak...oh and sore".

Some may say that this sucks, but baby Jesus's Dad had a plan when he created this thing called Human Body (Insert a shit ton of chemical reactions, blah blah blah, CH₃CH(OH)COO^-, etc, yadda yadda yadda) and the end result is DOMS. Being sore is actually good because you know you are tearing and reparing, baby! AKA gettin jacked.

Fucking DOMS. My friend Nick and I have a joke where days after a run one person will randomly receive a text that says something like, "Dude, my DOMS is SO delayed and onset". Shit just sneaks up on you hours or even days later. Anyway, when this DOMS character rears its ugly face, it hurts. So, while my natural reaction is to lay in my bed, sobbing in fetal position, I know that its actually best to get back out there and "run it out". Gotta train this loser body to suck it up so that when Im hurtin out there on the streets I wont feel compelled to cower underneath the water station and call my dad from my cell phone.

So thats what Ive been doing the past two days. Making myself get out there even though, dude, Im so sore. You have no idea. No, seriously. I can barely even type this...