Thursday, May 21, 2009

I Lost my running partner to cheese

There you have it folks, this sad, sad Thursday I regret to inform you that Krystina has decided to move back home to pursue a career in serving beer to very intoxicated golfers. You know that old saying, "Reach for the stars so if you fall, you land on a cloud"? Well this broad reached for the stars and landed in Wisconsin. I still think she is joking though, you didnt really move did you? I dont like surprises Krystina, just show your face, throw the party, and get this over with.

Anyway, so yes, Krystina will be training from home-intermittently between eating, tailgating, drinking, shooting up, and god knows what other desperate attempts for fun that state has conjured up. If you ask me, Wisconsin doesnt even exists, but what do I know.

OoOO. Ill tell you what I know. My new cool iphone app-"Cool Facts" has recently informed me that 25% of your bones are in your feet. Vewyy intewesting. This totally explains why 25% of my pain while running is in my feet. These sausage links were NOT engineered for running, Ill tell you that. They were engineered to be eaten in such an event that a plane crashes, and we are stranded in the Alps with no other source of sustinance... and we just so happen to also have some barbeque sauce.

Which brings me to my Memorial Day Purchase. New kicks! Im wicked excited about it. Although new shoes will not magically give me superhuman running abilities or improve my VO2 max whatsoever, they will provide me with the proper arch support that I need as my mileage gets higher-- Which, by the way, will be around the start of June. Without good sneakers your toenails will fall off. This is not a myth, this happens to a good chunk of people who run a marathon. Personally, I kind of love war wounds, scars, bruises, etc. so I actually hope this happens to me. War wounds mean youve been to war and lived to tell a story! And look! Instead of pictures I would like to show you my highly anticipated... fake acrylic toenail! My friend Jess sadly lost a toenail to an unruly soccer ball, and she got an implant! I didnt even know they made those, but oh do they ever and I, for one, cannot wait.

1 comment:

George said...

Wisconsin, eh? I dont know why anyone would ever wanna live in Canada for the Summer... Was Krystina even in this country legally all this time?

True story about the toe nails... I lost not one, but 6 in the '99 marathon. Gooo...